


Until the Last

by YumKiwiDelicious



Category: Naruto
Genre: Coma, First Kiss, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mutual Pining, Worried Gaara, locked in syndrome, mid-shippuden, team guy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:06:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23125987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YumKiwiDelicious/pseuds/YumKiwiDelicious
Summary: Sand still hovered around him constantly, holding him even when Gaara was gone, but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t Gaara.|| Lee falls into a coma after a mission and Gaara waits impatiently for him to wake up ||
Relationships: Gaara/Rock Lee
Comments: 17
Kudos: 199





	Until the Last

“That fight was most invigorating, was it not, Kazekage-sama?” Lee boomed, stretching his left arm over his chest with the opposite hand.

Standing next to him, Gaara adjusted the strap of his gourd and made a dismissive sound. “Capturing Orochimaru would have been ideal,” he reminded. “However, securing our borders is an important task so I suppose this mission could be labeled...a success.”

The taijutsu specialist beamed good-naturedly at his partner, knowing Gaara was trying to highlight what little positives there were for Lee’s benefit. All around them the natural layout of the desert seemed hardly distrubed by their battle. The odd boulder smashed to bits by a wayward punch or blast of sand did not appear too out of place and the tracks of their footprints were already being smoothed away by a hot breeze coming off the horizon. In the distance, the walls of Suna stood strong and proud, their would-be attackers having been scattered by the Kazekage and the man by his side.

“Orochimaru will not slither in so easily again!” Lee assured, fist raised in the air. “He has shown his hand and now all reports will show that he attempts to use genjutsu to disguise himself as a messenger from Leaf to infiltrate our borders!”

“The report will note that Orochimaru used an obvious trick to distract from a bigger scheme which is, as of yet, unknown,” Gaara said unconcernedly as he turned and started at a steady pace back towards the village. Lee fell into step beside him, hair slightly mussed and a trickle of blood seeping down his temple. The fight had indeed been ‘invigorating’ and Gaara noted his friend’s injury with a tense look. Seeing Lee’s blood unsettled him.

“What do you think his plan is, Kazekage-sama?” Lee asked. “Should we tell the village to be on high alert?”

It was a valid question and Gaara contemplated his response in silence. Orochimaru was as meticulous as he was conniving; whatever his plan, it didn’t bode well for the Kazekage and his people, Lee included. The Leaf ninja had been stationed in Sand for nearly a year now and Gaara found himself increasingly invested in Lee’s well being. Orochimaru lurking around, disguising himself as a citizen of Konoha worried the Kazekage. What if something happened to Lee? What if that was Orochimaru’s whole goal?

Gaara blinked his thoughts away and shook his head ever so slightly. “Orochimaru is unpredictable, but he does not have all his resources of the past,” he mused, noting Lee was hanging on his every word, round eyes trained on his profile. “If we trust our intelligence and follow protocol laid out by Temari and Konkuro, we should be able to combat whatever he has coming.”

“Sounds like a youthful challenge of endurance to me!” Lee crowed, chest puffed out with overwhelming enthusiasm. Gaara took his turn to eye the young man’s profile.

“Quite.”

Marching along, Lee ushered their conversation into less serious territory. After living in Suna those many months, he had become quite familiar with the goings on of the village and inquired regularly about the state of affairs. Getting this information straight from the Kazekage only assured him it was reliable and valid information. 

Had there been any sandstorm warnings? 

How were the greenhouses fairing? 

Would Temari visit soon from her own deployment in Leaf? 

What were the trades for the month looking like?

Gaara fielded all these questions with a quiet patience he had honed over the year of Lee being at his side. The taijutsu specialist had ostensibly taken Temari’s place as advisor to the Kazekage and the position suited him. Lee was gentle where Gaara was sometimes overly firm. Questioning where Gaara fell back too heavily on tradition. Fair and just where Gaara could sometimes come off a little bloodthirsty. All in all, Lee had proven himself a devoted friend and stalwart ninja to the leader of Suna and that his assignment there would soon end gnawed at Gaara’s mind more often than he cared to admit. 

“Good work today,” Gaara intoned just as they reached the gates of Suna. With less effort than what he used to need, he gave Lee a small smile and the Leaf ninja lit up visibly. He bowed low at his waist, dusty hair falling over his eyes.

“Thank you, Kazekage-sama!” he shouted into the dirt. “It is always an honor fighting by your side!”

Internally Lee felt as if he had just opened the third gate. His face flushed under Gaara’s praise and he could feel the fine hairs on the back of his neck standing up as he straightened up from his bow. The Kazekage was looking at him with those piercing green eyes and Lee strained a muscle in his face maintaining his benign smile. Through the year he had spent in Sand his attachment to Gaara had grown and grown under the guise of a deep friendship, but within the last few weeks Lee had slowly realised his feelings had changed quite without his permission. 

Gaara was his most precious person. 

“I am honored to fight at your side as well.”

“Yo!”

Both young men turned and looked beyond the gate at the call. Konkuro was there, just within the walls of the village, waving them over. At his back, The Anbu were poised having been ordered to stay behind and defend the city in the Kazekage’s absence. 

“It’s about time you two got back!”

Without realizing it Gaara and Lee both took a step back, subconsciously putting more space between them where there had already been a gaping chasm. Konkuro was approaching at a leisurely pace, arms tucked behind his head now as he spoke lowly to the Anbu, likely giving orders about how the rest of the day was to proceed now that the threat had been dealt with. The only reason Gaara had not been back sooner was because he did not want Lee to make the walk back to the village alone. He could not simply transport them both about with the sand since the first time he’d done so, Lee had ended coughing up blood, having gotten no warning to close his mouth before they moved. Besides, walks with Lee were no great burden after all this time.

Lee watched Kankuro approach with a sinking feeling in his stomach and took yet another step back from Gaara. He’d been trapped in a moment there, gazing deeply into his friend’s black rimmed eyes and having it broken left him feeling shaky and embarrassed. The closer the brothers drew to each other, the further back he retreated about to drop some excuse of needing to run five hundred laps around the village when he noticed something strange. 

Gaara’s gourd scared Lee more than he would ever admit to his quiet friend. Of course it did after what had happened at the Chunin exams. However, during his time in Sand he had had to spend an extensive amount of time with the object and he liked to think he knew it pretty well at this point. Whether it was hanging heaving off Gaara’s narrow shoulders, or tucked into the corner of the training grounds as the two men sparred, Lee knew what Gaara’s sand container looked like and he knew what he was seeing was not normal. 

There, smoothed over the calabash shaped container, it’s location nearly disguising it as one of the designs already present, was a beige tag. It’s color nearly blended in with the gourd and the writing on it was smudged as if it’d been slapped on in a hurry; in the mists of an invigorating battle perhaps. Lee approached it, eyes fixed and hand outstretched as Gaara paused, sensing his friend coming towards him from behind. When Lee’s bandaged hand rested on the gourd beside the tag, it felt as if the whole world tensed. Not far off, Konkuro had stopped walking. 

“Lee?”

“Heavenly Punishment.”

Lee read the symbols in a quiet murmur and yet the words caused Gaara’s head to whip around at a near break-neck speed. He eyed Lee over his shoulder, noting how the nin was bent over his back and only grew more tense.

“What did you say?”

A corner of the tag began to sizzle, as if an ember caught in a breeze, and Lee’s insides went cold. He felt himself subconsciously rip open his first two gates as he snapped the harness on Gaara’s back and wrenched the gourd away. Gaara stumbled.

“GET BACK!”

The world exploded. 

There was a deafening roar that seemed to go on for an eternity, and a scorching heat clawed its way across Lee’s body as he was thrown back into Gaara. The shockwave was earth-shattering, mind-blowing, pandemonium. Lee felt as if his flesh and bone were being peeled away with a scalding iron, the pain even worse than opening the third and fourth gates which he tried to do in a weak attempt to save his own life. If he screamed, the sound was lost to the world ending. If Gaara screamed, Lee was too lost to hear it. 

* * *

Pain. 

In flashes and glimpse and starts and stops, but pain nonetheless. Lee fell in and out of consciousness like the flicker of a candle and each time he opened his eyes there was only pain and blinding light. A constant hissing and roaring was sounding around him and he wondered if he was still caught in the fire of the explosion. His head hurt.

“Get a medi-nin here NOW!”

Kankuro?

“Lord Fifth, please step aside so we can assist him!”

That voice was unfamiliar to Lee and he flinched away from it, realizing belatedly that he was not thrown over a bed of rocks like some ragdoll. Instead he was being propped up off the scalding sand by a pair of skinny arms, one tucked tightly around his waist while the other spanned the width of his shoulders ending with a hand cradling his head which felt like it was on fire. Someone was holding him and none too gently either.

“Stay away!” The voice, deep like the rumble of a monster, shook through Lee’s frame and hot tears scorched down his face. “Don’t touch him!”

“Gaara, he needs  _ help _ , put him down!” 

That was Kakuro again and Lee struggled to tear his eyes back open. It was nearly impossible, but as his limp frame was jerked back forcefully, more pain shot through him and his lids fluttered open with a groan. There, crouched above him like a wolf defending its kill, was Gaara. The Kazekage’s eyes were wide and wild and his face was pulled down into a scowl that concerned Lee greatly. He was holding Lee to his chest and the Leaf nin could feel coarse sand slithering all up and around his body. It made his skin crawl.

“Kazekage-sama, you have to give him to us! He’s losing a lot of blood!”

The deep rumble again; a roar working its way up and out of Gaara’s chest. Shukaku fighting to be released as he crouched over Lee’s prone form. The taijutsu specialist’s head lulled to the side as Gaara released his painful grip on it, raising his hand to create a creeping sand barrier all around them.

“Stay back.”

Darkness was pushing in on Lee and not just from Gaara’s Ultimate Defense. He had the sinking feeling that if he lost consciousness again, he would not wake up and he would die there in the arms of his beloved who did not even know he was beloved. He struggled to lift his head and look at Gaara, the feeling of sand granules fixing themselves over his charred skin pure agony.

“Gaara.”

His voice did not even sound like his own, but it froze the Kazekage in his place. The sand stopped it’s creeping advance over Lee’s wounds and the space around them grew quiet as everyone realized Lee was not only alive, but that he was actually conscious. Slowly, the beast holding Lee looked down into his eyes. Gaara’s face was half way morphed into Shukaku and a chill would have run through Lee’s body had he not been so hot. His friend looked so lost in that moment that Lee wanted nothing more than to reach out and embrace him, declaring his love and loyalty for all of Sand to hear.

However, all he could manage was a gurgled, “Please.”

The darkness was closer now, nipping at Lee’s heels as Gaara lowered him to the ground, more careful to support his neck and head now. The young man stayed a moment more, caught in Lee’s gaze, before stepping back, his sand retreating with him. He looked up to his brother and Anbu with a cold countenance and made a simple demand.

“Save him.”

* * *

Dull light danced behind his eyelids and his mind lagged trying to chase it. Lee couldn’t process anything as he laid there except that he was in pain and it was too quiet and where was Gaara?

Gaara.

The explosive tag.

In vain, Lee attempted to wrench his eyes open. He couldn’t move. He was slowly gaining more awareness of his own body, which didn’t appear to be in pieces, and realized he was lying down somewhere. Somewhere cool and protected from the hot Suna sun and wind. The air was still and sterilized around him and the whir of unseen machines painfully punctuated how sensitive his ears were. Several parts of his body, Lee noticed, were aching, and even without moving he could tell his old Chunin exam injuries had been irritated greatly. His leg and arm and lower back were throbbing in time with his heartbeat and his head felt like it had been split open with a kunai. 

Trying to focus past the internal pain and look external, Lee noted he could feel several needles piercing the tender flesh of his arms. His training bandages were gone but something thicker and fluffier had taken their place and was wrapped nearly over his entire body it felt. It was with a greater deal of alarm he realized there was a thick tube shoved between his lips. It sat heavy over his tongue and seemed to make its way all the way down his throat. He wondered, dazedly, why he was not choking on the obstruction and what sort of nefarious reason Orochimaru could have for fitting him with what he assumed was a feeding tube. 

Lee had absolutely no doubt Orochimaru was behind all of this. From the distracting attack to the explosive tag to Lee’s unfavorable predicament, the situation had Orochimaru written all over it. Plus it was just like the snake of a man to leave his captive with no water to ease the ache that accompanied the tube in his extremely dry throat. His tongue felt like salty bedrock. First assumption aside, Lee assessed himself and could instead see the tube was actually forcing some sort of gas into his chest. His lungs and ribs expanded with it in increments not unlike his own breathing and he was left to guess at Orochimaru’s wicked intent. 

The sensation of the artificial breathing was odd and uncomfortable and Lee wanted to rip the tube out with all the power of youth, but he couldn’t  _ move _ . His eyes were still glued shut and he couldn’t so much as shake his head or arms to try and dislodge all the instruments intruding on his person. The light beyond his lids still evaded him, he couldn't even shift his eyes to follow it. His arms were placed at his sides and his legs were pulled down straight like he was standing at attention only on his back. It was as though his every muscle was paralyzed.

What was going on? 

Where was he?

Was Gaara safe? 

How long had he been asleep?

Why was he all alone?

Lee’s mind, seemingly the only part of him still under his control, worked over time trying to solve his predicament. He was not one to panic, Gai Sensei said each new challenge was a chance to prove one's own rigorous skill set, but Lee was quickly losing control when he heard a door open somewhere off to his side. He would have tensed if he could. He would have sprung up and fallen into his fighting stance if he could. As it was, all he could do was lay there silently as heavy footfalls approached.

“How is he?”

Kankuro?

“Unchanged.”

Gaara?!

Lee had never been so frustrated at his own body as when he did not immediately spring into action upon hearing Gaara’s frigid voice there beside him. Not a yelp of surprise, nor a cry of elation at realising Gaara was sitting  _ right next to him _ . Likely had been from before the moment Lee woke up, his chakra signature not even registering to Lee as present since it made up the entire environment of the room.

Gaara was safe!

“Mm,” Kankuro’s voice was tinged with regret as he went on, “Crazy how he just grabbed the tag like that.”

“He was trying to protect me.” Lee could have just died at the disgust that dripped from Gaara’s tone as he explained the exact reason why Lee had grabbed the gourd. Was Gaara upset with him?

“Well, that’s...nice.”

“It was idiotic!” Yes, Gaara was definitely upset. A crackle went through the room as his chakra flared and Lee wondered if the hair on the back of his arms was standing up. “My sand would have protected me no matter how close the explosion.”

“That’s true.” A low grunt. Kankuro had probably taken a seat or even just squatted down beside his brother’s seat. “But he kept you from walking it any further into the village. Who knows when it would have gone off if he didn’t notice.”

The air was still electric as Gaara icily replied, “He could have been killed.”

Lee wished he could reach out and take Gaara’s hand. Ensure his precious person that he was just fine and would gladly risk it again in order to keep him safe. However, the Leaf nin was coming to terms with the fact that he apparently wasn’t just fine. The appearance of Gaara and Kankuro at what could only be his bedside alerted Lee to the fact he had not been abducted by Orochimaru. All the clues laid before his closed eyes pointed to him being in a hospital somewhere in Sand. The needles in his arms were IV’s pushing life saving fluids into his veins. The tube wedged between his teeth was pumping oxygen into his lungs because he apparently could not breathe on his own.

He’d tried to protect Gaara from the explosion and in the process had gotten very, very hurt. He wasn’t fine. 

“His sensei will be here soon.”

The temperature in the room dropped no less than thirty degrees.

“That meddlesome fool is to get nowhere  _ near _ Lee!”

“Gaara, you can’t keep him out.” Kankuro had to have put on a very brave face to go against his brother’s tone when it was like that. “Lee’s his student.”

“I don’t care,” the Kazekage growled petulantly, “Maito Gai is not welcome in Sunagakure.”

Lee could have cried at the indignation. He knew Gaara had a less than pleasant opinion of his beloved teacher, but he had thought the Kazekage would place such notions aside in the name of diplomacy. Speaking plainly, keeping a higher ranking ninja out of a medical room where his student was clinging to life was cruel and unusual. Especially so with Gai and Lee, Gaara  _ knew _ they were close. He had grown extremely fond of the redhead in the last year, but at that moment he could feel a frustration building up in his chest towards Gaara that could only be released via a passionate speech on the mentor/mentee relationship that he currently could not give.

“He’s already here.”

Lee’s internal cry of joy was overcast by Gaara’s growl of frustration which was in turn overcast by the sound of the door being thrown open. It slammed against the wall at a volume that made Lee’s ears ring and no doubt challenged the hinges, but all that clatter paled in comparison to the emotional cry that filled the room not a second later.

“LEEEEE!”

Gai Sensei!

Lee’s response to his teacher was silent, but heartfelt, and he wished he could show more enthusiasm as Gai stormed into the room. His heart felt so full that his sensei would come to his side at such a time as this and he wanted to shout his dedication to Gai’s teaching and his Ninja Way from the rooftops, but he was confined to the cursed bed.

“OH, MY ADORABLE PROTEGE, WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO-?!”

“Step back.”

Gaara’s words could be taken as nothing other than an order and the room grew tense as Gai seemed to notice, belatedly as Lee had, that the Kazekage’s chakra was practically oozing down the walls. His voice had hit Lee’s ear at a slightly different angle than it had been thus far and he surmised Gaara must have gotten to his feet, the sound of his chair scraping the ground lost under Gai’s greeting. Lee suddenly felt sand sliding over his skin.

“Gaara,” Kakuro’s voice warned.

“Don’t touch Lee. You’ll hurt him.”

“Kazekage-sama,” Gai’s voice was low and steely now, not unlike the tone he had used during the Chunin exams. “Thank you for protecting Lee, but I assure you I will do him no harm. Please let me approach.”

Lee internally balked that Gai Sensei would let Gaara -who he had referred to in his letters as an overzealous pipsqueak- bar him from Lee. Nevermind the fact that he would go so far as to politely ask to see his own former student. It was outrageous and Lee was all at once extremely embarrassed for Gaara and extremely grateful to Gai. Had he ignored the redhead’s warning and plowed through with his usual burst of youthful exuberance, there’s no telling what Gaara would have done. As it was, they were at a stand still.

“Gaara,” Kankuro murmured again, “Lee would want to see him.”

The air was still a moment more, sand still forming a loose casing around Lee’s skin, but finally he heard his Kazekage take a seat. An instant later there were fingers in his hair. If Gai minded the sand acting as a buffer between him and Lee’s skull, he said nothing. His hand was shaking.

“Lee,” he breathed into the younger man’s ear. “I’m here.” When he spoke again, he had pulled away. “How did it happen?”

“Explosive tag hidden on Gaara’s person,” Kankuro explained and Lee perked up mentally at the chance to finally hear all that had happened. “Heavenly Punishment. Lee ripped it off him right before it exploded and took the brunt of the blast.”

“How did he manage to survive?”

“My sand.” Gaara’s voice was little now. Caged. “When the tag detonated, my sand moved to protect me from the blast and managed to partially cover Lee as well-”

A loud sniffle halted Gaara’s explanation and Lee bemoaned for the millionth time that he could not open his eyes as Gai Sensei stood from his chair and seemed to stomp around the side of the bed. If Lee’s hearing was correct, his former teacher was standing just beside Gaara’s chair now. There was a rustling of fabric.

“Thank you, Kazekage-sama!” Lee knew now Gai must have bowed low at the waist before the younger man. “You saved Lee’s life and for that I am eternally grateful! Though he is no longer my student, he is still precious to me! I am in your debt!”

Lee could imagine the stunned look on Gaara’s face at the exclamation. After several months with him, Lee knew Gaara was not used to receiving praise and often clammed up if anyone complemented his skills as a fighter or a leader. Furthermore, Gaara rarely saw any reason why he should be praised, instead focusing on points in a fight or a negotiation where he could have done better. So self-deprecating, Lee just  _ knew _ Gaara was probably blaming himself for not protecting Lee more. For not seeing the tag first. He was probably furious with himself which left him unable and unwilling to accept Gai Sensei’s thanks which was why, Lee was positive, an awkward silence had fallen over the room. 

“Uh,” Kankuro came to his little brother’s rescue, “Lee’s chart is here. I’m no medi-nin but I can fill you in on the basics.” Lee heard his sensei give a quiet hum of appreciation and then listened as everyone seemed to take up a new position. They were gathered near the foot of his bed and he could hear papers being shuffled around. “His burns are severe, but not untreatable. Bones and muscles and all that will heal with time. The main concern is this.”

Maito Gai was quiet again, and then: “What does it mean?”

“It’s showing there’s a ton of swelling in his brain here and here,” Kankuro stated. Lee boiled over not being able to see what they were all looking at. “Without Gaara's sand it would have been more if he was even still alive. They were able to relieve some of the pressure, but he’s probably going to be left with some brain damage.”

“But he will recover?”

If Lee wasn’t already on edge at the mention of brain damage, Kankuro and Gaara’s following silence to Gai’s question left him staring over the crest of the universe into a black abyss of nothingness. The blasted tube kept pushing air in and out at a steady pace, but inside he was gasping.

“Please,” Gai pressed, “I want to know.”

Gaara finally freed them all from the tension. “He might recover. He might not.” Lee could see, in his mind’s eye, his friend standing there with his pale arms crossed over his chest in agitation. “It’s difficult to say at this point. Lee’s young and healthy so his chances are better, but there may be significant impairment of cognitive function, among other things.”

That Gaara was clearly just repeating what someone more versed in the matter had said to him did little to calm Lee’s nerves. He might not recover? Loss of cognitive function? But he was just fine! He was thinking and reasoning just fine! He just couldn’t  _ move _ .

“I did this, Maito Gai,” Gaara said then. His voice was dead. “This is my fault.”

“Don’t say that,” Kankuro grouched immediately. “Don’t put that on yourself.”

“The tag...I should have noticed-”

“Kazekage-sama.” Gai’s voice was heavy with emotion, but strong all the same. He and Lee both knew Gaara did not respond well to tears, so it was likely he was making a manly effort to hold them back. “You  _ couldn’t _ have known and even if you had, Lee would not have preferred you to be injured in his place. He was willing to lay down his life to protect you and I know he would do it again. That is his Ninja Way. His Will of Fire.”

Lee agreed with that declaration whole heartedly. Nothing in the world could have convinced him to not rip that tag off Gaara’s back. All the sand defenses in Sunagakure could not have kept him from rushing to his precious friend’s aid, or made him wish Gaara had taken the brunt of that explosion. He held Gaara so close to his heart that had the young man been injured, it would have felt no different than Lee laying in the bed in that moment anyhow. No, this was the better outcome.

“I should have known.” Gaara’s voice was back to the disturbing growl it had been immediately after the explosion, his animalistic need to protect Lee turning his chakra dark and sour. He seemed inconsolable and none of the other men in the room even got a chance to do so before the door opened again.

“Gai Sensei.”

Lee reeled a bit at the labored voice of Tenten. She was panting lowly as if she had been running up until that moment and there was another, deeper breath heaving deeply along with her.

“Tenten, Neji, come in.”

Lee tuned out a bit as Kankuro and Gai Sensei repeated everything that had just been said for his teammates. He could feel sand swirling uneasily beneath the gown he  _ hoped _ he was wearing as Gaara presumably came to sit by his side again. The appearance of Tenten and Neji, as winded as they were, gave Lee another clue into his predicament. His team had not been in Suna when the tag exploded nor en-route. If Gai Sensei pushed them, it is likely they could have run from Konoha in merely two days time to see him.

He’d been completely unconscious for two days at least.

Lee felt strange losing time like that, and strange not being able to open his eyes, or move, or speak. However, he was still alive and he decided to focus on that fact alone rather than the scary prognosis that had been handed down to him. He had come back from worse odds in the past and at that point he had not even had an insanely powerful jinjuriki by his side supporting him through it all. 

No, he would definitely overcome this challenge. And when he woke up properly he would thank his friends for coming all this way.

Definitely when. Not if.

* * *

Having your body be in a coma when your mind was not was even more of a challenge than Lee had initially assumed it would be. The obvious downside of complete paralysis was a special type of hell for someone like Lee who thrived so heavily on kinetic energy in his everyday life. He would ‘wake up’ each morning, or what he had to assume were the mornings, and be immediately denied his ritual of an energizing stretch and sprint. With not even the ability to roll his eyes in exasperation, every morning Lee wondered if that day would be the day he finally snapped out of it. 

He tried and failed intermittently to wiggle a toe, or flare a nostril. Before each attempt he would issue himself a challenge (“If I cannot lift my left eyebrow, when I awake I will do one thousand push ups!”) and had collected an intimidating amount of tasks he needed to complete when he was finally able. Not once had he been able to so much as twitch a muscle.

The boredom was a whole other challenge he had not even considered. Rock Lee was not used to being bored. It had been Gai Sensei’s teachings that if you had time to be bored, you had time to train. Merely laying in bed with his eyes closed day in and day out, trapped in his own body, Lee could only occupy himself with trying to move for so long. There were always mental exercises of course but even repeating those three times back to back only took up, at most, three hours of his morning. If he was still waking when he normally did that meant by seven in the morning there was nothing to do.

Some days he could pass the time with thoughts of his mentor and friends and hope they were well and not worrying too much. His team had remained at his bedside for several days after he initially ‘woke up’, but eventually were called back on ninja duties to Konoha. They had each in turn dropped promises to visit again soon, even Neji, but still Lee was sad to hear them go. Gai Sensei’s farewell had been especially heart-wrenching and Lee knew his cheeks would have been covered in tears and snot had he had any control over his face. He hoped his stony silence in the face of his sensei pouring his heart out had not upset Gai.

Still, even with his team gone, Lee was never truly lonely. People came in and out of his room every few hours. Medi-nins mostly who would check in on him, take samples, and clean the tube in his throat. The tube was still probably the thing Lee liked least in all this, but he appreciated the medical team of Sand’s devotion to his care. Even when they filled the lines in his veins with liquid that burned like fire or used their Mystical Palms which stung like ice, he was glad they were there. It was rare he caught any of their names in all their chatter, but he had taken a special liking to one of them. Ameno, the first day she was assigned to Lee’s care by the Kazekage himself, had introduced herself to Lee’s still form and always talked through whatever she was doing.

“Good evening, Lee-san, it’s me, Ameno,” she would say. “I’m just here to draw some blood and then I’ll give you something to help you sleep, mm?”

How Ameno would be able to tell Lee was technically ‘awake’ and so would need something to put him under for sleep was beyond Lee, but he appreciated the courtesy all the same. Plus it was likely Ameno only said this particular thing when the sun was setting so Lee was glad for the inkling of orientation in his day.

Other people visited as well. Kankuro surprisingly took to Lee’s bedside every few days to discuss new battle tactics or describe a puppet he was working on. He and Lee had never had an especially close relationship before, but Lee made the attempt to give the air of someone listening intently to his friend speak as much as he could. The puppet master’s visits were always short, but they were consistent and Lee attached a feeling of stability to them. This helped with his itching need to  _ move  _ most days.

Temari had come once, Naruto a loud and angry presence by her side. The sand sibling had not said much besides thanking him quietly for protecting Gaara, however, Naruto had gone on a whole tirade about how Lee could not let a little tag defeat him. He all but ordered Lee to rise from his sleep with a new fighting spirit so the two could go toe to toe in a friendly competition of youth. Lee was not sure he had ever attempted to wren his muscles from their paralysis so hard. He was positive his nose must have bled for his efforts, but still he could do nothing but listen to Naruto’s disappointed musings, and swear internally to his old friend that he would fight this. Believe it. 

The two returned to Konoha -heavy hearted Lee was sure- leaving like all of Lee’s visitors eventually did. Except one. The Leaf nin had not dismissed Gaara’s chakra signature again and so knew that the Kazekage sat by his bedside for no less than three hours every day. He rarely spoke, only questioning nurses about Lee’s status, he refused to take meetings in the room, and he never interacted with anyone that was strictly there to see Lee. Even when Naruto had demanded his fellow jinjuriki to watch over Lee, Gaara had maintained a stony silence. 

It was a moot request anyway, Lee had reasoned to the darkness, Gaara  _ was  _ watching over him. The faint scratching of a pen over paper most days told that the young man was still handling his official duties while visiting, but he was always watching over Lee. The three hours he saw his friend a day were not always consecutive; sometimes he had to come between meetings, or missions, or paper work, or food, or sleep, but he always came. He would perch beside Lee’s bed, power and ill-will rolling off him in waves until eventually he’d stand, touch two fingers to Lee’s cheek, and leave. The first time he had initiated the innocent touch, Lee was positive the monitor keeping track of his heart would go haywire and give him away, but nothing happened. Gaara had apparently been waiting for such a reaction as well because the sand slammed the door extra hard behind him that day. He kept coming though, and he kept touching Lee’s face.

Of all visitors, regular or intermittent, Lee enjoyed these interactions the most. He had known before the blast that his feelings for Gaara had changed. In fact he had been running away from the knowledge when he noticed the tag. However, with nowhere and no way to run now, his feelings for his dear friend seemed to press down on him with a tangible weight. Whenever Gaara touched his cheek, Lee wanted nothing more than to lean into that cool hand. To stroke along that thin wrist. He wanted Gaara so desperately and he couldn’t get him even though he was sitting right there. 

Even in all his effected silences, Lee just kept finding more things to love about the Kazekage. The way he appeared to do every menial task with the sand that he could, the sound of the course grains pushing the door open becoming Lee’s new favorite sound. The way he stood, a daunting defender, in the corner during all Lee’s exams before taking his seat beside him once more as soon as he was cleared too. The way he could easily use these hours of quiet to meditate or read, but instead merely sat there staring intensely at Lee until he left. Lee knew he was staring because he had become painfully aware as to when the Kazekage’s eyes were on him. Whether it was during a meeting, or a sparring session, or on the battlefield, or on a walk, Lee knew when Gaara was looking at him. He’d never had the courage to stare back before and now that he thought he may have been able to muster it up he couldn’t open his eyes!

Yes, he was very glad Gaara was his most regular visitor. He just wished the redhead would say something to him and ease the suffering it seemed they were both experiencing. Plus...Lee missed the sound of his voice.

* * *

One day, Lee came to from a drug-induced stupor in the middle of an ongoing conversation in his room.

“…He’s been comatose for two weeks,” he heard a coarse voice say unhappily. The words were muffled to Lee’s clogged ears and he struggled against the undertow of sleep to try and hear what was being said when he recognized Gaara. “Why isn’t he getting better? Why hasn’t he woken up?”

“These things take time, Kazekage-sama.” That was Ameno. “The brain is delicate.”

“But he still looks—” Gaara stopped, apparently unable to finish what he had been about to say.

“Lee-san is strong. All we can do now is wait.”

Lee wished his breathing tube would pump an extra large helping of oxygen into his chest to simulate a sigh. He was so tired of waiting to not be stuck in this limbo where he couldn’t reach or see his dearest friends. Where he couldn’t talk to Gai Sensei. Where he couldn’t hold Gaara. Hearing that he’d been laying there for two weeks was all at once encouraging and disheartening. Encouraging because there was no way it could be much longer. Discouraging because it had already felt so long. Had anyone asked Lee, and had he been able to answer, he’d have sworn he was in this coma for over a month already.

Gara was silent until: “I have to do more.”

‘There’s nothing more you can do, my love,’ Lee wants to say, hating the hint of desperation he hears in his Kazekage’s voice. Gaara had already saved him from the blast, already sat with him everyday. There was nothing else Lee could even think to ask him for especially since it was his own stupid, weak fault he couldn’t snap out of it. 

“You could talk to him,” Ameno suggested, tone sympathetic and not at all ironic. “You don’t do that already, do you?”

“No,” Gaara said, offended, Lee could tell. “What’s the point? He can’t hear me.”

Lee could have just died.

“Nevertheless,” Ameno insisted, “I promise you, it can help.”

“Will it help  _ him?” _

A tense moment passed and Lee was suddenly very worried for his favorite medical-nin on staff in Suna. He could feel the indignation in Gaara’s chakra and wanted nothing more than to shake Ameno’s hand when she merely replied, “Give it a try. There’s nothing to be lost in it, is there?”

A single person’s footsteps left the room, not accompanied by a slither of sand. Barely a moment later the chair adjacent to Lee’s bed creaked tiredly. Knowing Gaara was there, Lee wanted to halt his breathing, to stare back into those green eyes that had spent two weeks staring at him. But the machine kept forcing air at its normal pace and his eyes remained firmly shut much to his chagrin.

“Hmm.” Gaara’s low timber broke like a wave over the room and Lee could have sworn he shuddered there in the darkness. “Hello, Lee….It’s Gaara….” The taijutsu specialist scoffed mentally that Gaara could think Lee would not recognize his voice. “I know you probably can’t hear me, but the medi-nin tells me that this is… helpful.” 

Lee hung on every word like it was precious water out in the deserts beyond the village. Gaara and he had had conversations before, of course, but most of them were carried by Lee’s enthusiastic determination to fill all silences. Now, he could not respond as Gaara floundered there, could not prompt him with easily answered questions that he desperately wanted to ask.

How are you?

Were you hurt in the explosion?

Are you getting enough sleep?

Do you miss me?

I miss you.

Gaara breathed strangely as if he had to remind himself to do it, or how deep a normal breath was supposed to be when formed around words. “I wanted to wait until you woke to tell you this, but…You shouldn’t have done what you did. I’m ten times stronger than you, I would have been fine.  _ I’m _ supposed to protect  _ you _ .”

Lee did not agree with Gaara’s assessment of their strength. If anything the Kazekage was only five times stronger than the ninja and even then, it was Lee’s Ninja Way to lay down his life for his friends and for the mission. He had been assigned to Suna to shadow the Kazekage and mend the hurt their villages had nearly done to each other during all the trouble with Hiruko. How would it look if a diplomat of Konoha had merely let the leader of Sand be blasted out of existence. No, Gaara was not thinking straight on this at all. He had sounded angry and offended during this declaration and Lee calmed himself with the thought that his friend was merely upset. Maybe worried.

_ “ _ Still,” Gaara continued, “Thank you anyway...for trying to protect me.”

Lee swore his little patch of darkness began to glow under Gaara’s thanks and he knew then he’d stand between the redhead and a million explosive tags if they could just be together like this more often. Back when Lee had been awake, there had always been a stuffy air of formality that occupied the space around the two, but now it was gone. The two were laid utterly bare before the other and Lee just wanted more days like this. Gaara continued talking blandly and filling Lee in on things he had missed during the last two weeks. 

There had been no sandstorm warnings since a few days after his injury.

The greenhouses were doing well and several children had taken an interest in agronomy. 

Temari’s deployment in Leaf was going well and she would likely visit again soon, sans Naruto. 

The trades for the month were on pause until Orochimaru was found.

“I can’t let anyone or anything into the village until we locate that snake.” Gaara’s voice was cold and calculating and his arms were probably crossed over his chest. “Every lead we’ve found for his reason for the tag have ended nowhere and we’re no closer to finding him, or what he wants. Until we do the village is closed off to anyone not known personally to Suna. I can’t risk him getting in here and…”

He trailed off and Lee waited worriedly for him to continue. Lee knew the lack of progress into finding out why he had nearly been killed was frustrating his friend, but he had thought Gaara was working through these feelings in the times when they were apart. He would not lie and say he hadn’t hoped Gaara continued the daily stretches and exercises they had begun doing together a few months back. That he was talking to Kankuro when his head got too loud. Lee could hardly stand being trapped in the bed, but the thought of Gaara wallowing day in and day out with his anger and misplaced guilt over the explosion was too much.

Suddenly, there were fingers on his cheek and a breath ghosting over his lips. Gaara had leaned over Lee so quickly the bed had barely had a chance to adjust to his added weight. He was crouched over him again, just like after the explosion, legs on either side of his waist. If not for the tube Lee was sure he would not be able to breathe. He wished he could see Gaara’s eyes.

“Lee,” the younger man breathed, turning his head now so his lips nearly brushed Lee’s ear. “Wake up.”

And he tried.

Lee tried so hard then to yank himself from the waking nightmare that was his own body that he swore he felt his muscles tearing, the gates opening, but he couldn’t. He could not even move an eighth of an inch with his tiny pinky finger and he wanted to cry then. Cry and scream as he heard and felt Gaara climb off the bed, off of him. The Kazekage was at the door far too soon, his chakra reeking of sadness and rejection.

“Pointless,” he muttered darkly.

He was gone and for once Lee was glad he couldn’t open his eyes because he could not bear to watch him go.

* * *

Gaara returned after what Lee had to guess had been three days. There was no way for him to know for sure how time was passing. What's more, Ameno and her team had performed some sort of procedure on him in the interim; one moment he was aware and the next he was dragging himself out of what felt like a pool of honey made from exhaustion. He hated those drowsy moments between dreams and awake when he could not tell if he was experiencing something real, recalling a memory, or witnessing a fantasy of his own creation. The days blurred together behind a screen of blackness and without Gaara coming and going it had been nearly impossible to tell when one had ended and another began. 

When Gaara did eventually come back it was to a Lee who had a whole new slew of aches and pains that went untreated because they remained unspoken and Lee wished he could have childishly rolled over and given the redhead his back when he heard him enter with the sand. He had worried about Gaara while he was gone, but he’d had to start stubbornly telling himself that maybe Gaara was not worried about him. At least not in the way that Lee wanted him to be. Gaara was Lee’s most precious person, but maybe Lee was just an ally from another village who it was Gaara’s duty to protect lest their alliance fall to pieces. Lee hoped with everything he had that that was not the case, but Gaara had left him for maybe three days to think about it.

Gaara sat silently in his usual chair for quite some time as if waiting for Lee to start the conversation. Even if he could, Lee told himself, he would not. He was angry with Gaara.

“Good morning, Lee, it’s Gaara. I’m...sorry...I stayed away.” 

The anger vanished.

The silence returned.

Lee filled it with an enthusiastic acceptance of Gaara’s apology and an oath to remain ever faithful and dedicated by his side whether it be as a warrior, a friend, a lover, or anything else Gaara would allow him to be. The silence of Lee’s mind was filled with flowering declarations of love and care that for only he would here, but he swore as soon as he was able he would share them with Gaara. Else he’d run the distance between Suna and Kona five consecutive times!

As if knowing Lee would need a mental moment to properly forgive and reassure him, Gaara stayed silent for several minutes before shifting in his seat. 

“I brought something for you.” Lee heard him pull something out from one of the inner pockets of his Kage robe and his very spirit perked up to know what it could be. “It’s a book of desert flora.”

Lee loved nature in that it provided an array of environments to train and enjoy the sunshine of one's youth, but he was not a plant expert by any stretch of the imagination. That was a hobby he recognized and respected in Gaara and a small piercing of something that felt like hope entered his chest at the thought his beloved would share this side of himself with Lee.

“I’m not great at conversation,” Gaara informed as way of explanation, not bashful of the fact at all, “But Ameno says reading to you could be just as good.”

Better, Lee determined. Gaara reading something he enjoyed to Lee was better than just forcing idle chatter to stimulate his brain activity. The pages of the book rustled beneath the Kazekage’s slim fingers and Lee wanted to see it so badly.

“There’s more pictures than anything...I...I guess I could describe them to you?” Gaara let the pseudo question hang as if Lee would actually respond with the exuberant ‘Yes!’ trapped in his mind before seeming to shake himself out of that idea. That hope. “Right. Let’s start with...dandelions.”

* * *

For the rest of the week Gaara visited him every day and would continue going through the list of flowers the book provided. He would describe in great detail the rich colors and varying shapes of the plants since Lee could not see the pictures himself, and where possible he would tell Lee the proper name of the bloom and what it meant in the ‘language of flowers’ which Lee had never heard of before. It was so interesting for Gaara to describe how a simple marigold, also called tagetes, could symbolize cruelty and a grieving jealousy. He had always enjoyed seeing the bright petals popping up around the village, but now he knew he would regard their yellow beauty differently. Likewise with poppies which apparently symbolized eternal sleep and oblivion. Lee just didn't think he could stomach such a flower after all this.

No, Lee’s favorite desert flower had to be the white lily. Lilian, when found in that color, symbolized purity. Majesty. Virginity. Lee could feel his internal temperature rise when Gaara’s smooth voice had whispered that word into his ear, but that wasn’t why Lee liked them. When given as a gift, a white lily sent the message of ‘It’s heavenly to be with you’. That was how he felt more than ever now with Gaara and he swore when he finally woke up, he would bring a whole bouquet of white lilies to his beloved since he would know what they meant. 

Definitely when. Not if.

Ameno had proved a fantastic sport to all of this, often commenting how pretty the flowers were, though her input would often cause Gaara to clam up immediately. She would ask the Kazekage in a stage whisper if he wanted her to bring different assortments of flora in Lee’s room to cheer him up, but the Kazekage always denied this usually leaving not soon after. In those moments, Ameno would pick up the book which he left on Lee’s side table and read a few more pages of it to Lee. Her descriptions of the pictures were not as good as Gaara’s but he appreciated the change of voice nonetheless, though Gaara’s voice was quickly becoming his favorite in all of Suna.

Kankuro came more, the only one brazen enough to point out how nice it was that Lee’s hair was growing back already. Lee spent the rest of that particular day tucked into the recesses of his own mind grieving the loss of his flowing locks and wondering how ridiculous he looked now with a partially singed, partially shaved head. He was just glad there was no more talk of removing part of his skull to ease pressure on his brain. No more haircuts for now. He supposed he could forgive Ameno and her team this horrible slight. 

Much too soon, Kankuro’s visits took on a more professional tone and it became clear Gaara was needed back in his office more often. Lee realized that the Kazekage’s daily visits, though short for Lee, probably cut into a huge portion of what Gaara could get done for the village in a day. He was burning the figurative candle at both ends and Lee felt horrible for making him wait this long for a sign. How long would Gaara even realistically wait for him? He was sure by now Konoha had been tasked with replacing him

“I have to go,” Gaara finally said one day, closing the book on it’s last page. He sounded as apologetic as he was probably able to sound and Lee’s insides grew cold like he was watching the blast happen all over again. “Suna needs me and...I can’t…”

Wait for me?

Look at me anymore?

Stand me?

Lee’s mind worked and worked and worked because it was the only damnable part of him that could and he questioned all over why Gaara could not just stay with him even though he knew the answer. Still as the jinchuriki leaned over his bed and put his whole palm to Lee’s face, a new habit, Lee wanted to cry at the injustice of it all.

“Why won’t you wake up and look at me?”

‘I want to!’ Lee screamed within his own mind, his sobs trapped and covered by the stupid machine that kept him breathing even when he didn’t want to anymore. He felt like he was going mad as Gaara pulled away, all mental pleas for him to stay going unanswered. Lee had never hated his inability to manipulate chakra more than he did at that moment. A more proficient ninja could have shoved Gaara across the room, or into the bed, or something. Why was he so useless?

Sand still hovered around him constantly, holding him even when Gaara was gone, but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t Gaara.

* * *

Once Gaara was gone Lee had no qualms about napping away the next few days. The painkillers helped with that and he had little reason to resist whenever another dose slipped into his abused veins. No other visitors were enough to tie him to this world. The exhaustion only grew and the pain was constant. His check ups grew less and less frequent as his body refused to show improvement.

Another week came and went and before Lee knew it a month had gone and another bleak month was barreling towards him. Boredom gave way to frustration gave way to depression. Each day was another battle lost, another night spent unmoving, another finger not lifted. As hard as Lee fought, his body remained indifferent to his efforts. He tried and tried to the point of tears that refused to come and then he would try some more. He suffered what had to be no less than a dozen mental breakdowns, each one leaving him more disgusted with his own lack of faith. He broke down and pieced himself together again several times over, and he found brief bits of pride in that but always felt more and more ragged afterward. As if he was being whittled away with every successive pass, leaving him smaller and rougher and just as incomplete as he was before. Lee knew Gai Sensei would have been ashamed of his former pupil if only he could have peeked into his mind when he came to visit again.

It got to the point where Lee had no good days anymore. There were bad days, and worse days where he managed to stupidly trick himself into believing the footsteps approaching his door were Gaara’s. That he would get to hear about all the different breeds of succulents once more and feel a cool two digits brush his cheek tenderly. Lovingly. Depression gave way to disappointment and that was worse than any other pain Lee had experienced. It hurt like a blunt kunai jamming him between his ribs and every day Gaara didn’t show it was buried a little deeper.

* * *

He ‘woke’ one night choking on the tube.

It had started as nothing more than a faint tickle in the back of his throat; the nearly foreign urge to swallow that went ignored since he hadn’t been able to swallow in weeks. However, the discomfort grew and grew until Lee was awake in his own mind panicking as he realized the oxygen getting pushed into his lungs was beginning to suffocate him. It had hurt terribly and Lee once again wanted nothing more than to rip the offensive device out, but his arms were still dead to him and he truly believed he was about to die there alone in the hospital room. His whole body seized and jerked, moving of its own accord for the first time in over a month, and suddenly there were cool fingers on his face.

“Lee?”

Gaara?!

There was a whoosh of dry air, the sound of Gaara transporting himself away, and Lee thought he must have been imagining his beloved there. A desperate mirage as his brain became oxygen starved but suddenly the sound was back and sand whipped across Lee’s frozen face, stinging him. There was a woman coughing near the foot of his bed.

“K-Kazekage-sama?”

“Save him.”

Lee barely had a chance to register that Gaara was really there and had apparently left to grab Ameno from her bed when the monitors at his bedside began beeping desperately. He was choking to death.

Lee wanted to sit up as Ameno hurried to his side, but he was still paralyzed. The spasms racking his body were out of his control as the medi-nin braced him by his shoulders and slowly, agonizingly, started to slide the tube from between his teeth. Gaara remained in the corner, his sand a storm around all of them as the offensive bit of plastic finally cleared Lee’s lips. The Leaf shinobi felt his throat close and open, working uselessly against the sudden hollowness left behind, and for a moment was terrified he would still die as he didn’t start breathing immediately. But then he drew his first ragged breath of air and it shattered out of him a great rush before his body fell quiet again.

The machines returned to their normal rhythm, Ameno lowered him back down onto the bed, and then Gaara slammed her against the far wall.

“Kazekage-sama!”

“Why did you remove his breathing tube?” Gaara’s voice was icier than Lee had heard it since the Chunin exams and he felt goosebumps rise all over his body though he knew the two non-comatose people in the room didn’t take note of it. He could hear Gaara’s sand moving up and over Ameno’s body, no doubt holding her bruisingly in place under Gaara’s gaze.

“H-He was choking.” Ameno didn’t sound as if she were doing much better.

“So put it back now,” Gaara ordered, “Save him.”

“Gaara.” Lee, who was about to have another mental breakdown at not being able to pull his beloved back from harming his favorite doctor, balked at Ameno having the nerve to address the Kazekage so informally. “This is a good thing.”

A small body hit the floor and Lee relaxed. Gaara had let her go.

“Explain.”

“He was choking on the tube,” the woman gasped, voice still coming from a place crouched near the floor, “Because he started breathing on his own. The tube was obstructing his airway, his body was trying to push it out. Lee’s brain has healed enough to regain respiration control.”

Lee perked up. His brain was healing? He didn’t need the tube anymore? He took stock of how he was feeling and realized that, yes, he was breathing on his own now. It hurt a bit, his ribs and airway feeling tender after all this time, but he was doing it! He was healing! His inner celebrations went unnoticed by the other two, but Gaara returned his side and Lee swore his heart would give out as he felt the redhead take his hand in his own. Gaara was holding his hand!

“So,” the Sand ninja’s voice held no trace of remorse to his manhandling of the medi-nin, “He will wake up soon?”

“It’s still hard to say.” Ameno’s voice seemed to not need an apology. “But it’s a very good sign.”

Lee heard her leave after that and could only thank the heavens that Gaara had not injured her too severely in his worry. The younger man remained by his bedside for a while after and it took Lee nearly half that time to realize Gaara had been there when he woke up. Gaara had been sitting in Lee’s room watching him sleep for an unknown amount of time and had managed to save Lee’s life again when he noticed him choking. Gaara cared.

* * *

The removal of the tube did wonders to restore Lee’s determination to wake up. He made sure to rouse himself each and every day now to do mental exercises and attempted small movements all over his body. That Gaara had returned to him played no small part in his lifted spirit either. The jinchuriki seemed to have grown paranoid at the thought of leaving Lee unsupervised and had reinstated his former visiting schedule with added drop ins throughout the day. He’d also continued to become bolder with the amount of physical contact he gave Lee and the Leaf nin swore that would eventually be the thing that brought him back fully.

“The way of the martial artist is the way of enduring, surviving and prevailing over all that would destroy him.” Gaara’s voice was strong and steady there beside him. He was perched on the side of the bed, a new position for him, and one of his hands was grasping Lee’s loosely as he read from a book Gai Sensei had left for him. “More than delivering strikes and slashes, and deeper in significance than the simple outwitting of an enemy, Ninpô is the way of attaining that which we need while making the world a better place. The skill of the Ninja is the art of winning.”

Lee clapped enthusiastically within his mind at the conclusion of the text. It had been years since Gai Sensei had initially read it to him, but the message still rang true. Being a shinobi was the most important thing in Lee’s life; the goal he had striven for longer than any other. Being trapped in bed and unable to live his Ninja Way to make the world a better place had eaten away at his spirit for so long it was no wonder he had nearly given up hope when Gaara disappeared. However, he was revitalized now, and determined to wake up so he could pursue his next great goal.

“Do you really believe all this?” his goal prompted, calling Lee’s attention once more. “It sounds like something your infuriating sensei would write.” Lee’s temper flared at the insult to his teacher and he wondered if his blood pressure went up a couple notches on the monitor he was attached to. “I should probably get you something else, now that we’re finished.” 

Gaara got up from the bed in a smooth motion that did not disturb Lee’s position at all. He stood there for a moment, Lee not able to tell if he was facing towards or away from him. He could tell his window was open and that it was daytime, the sun was warming his face. However, Gaara’s face remained a mystery and with it, all his reactions and feelings to the situation. 

When a cool hand gripped his again, Lee was all at once surprised and pleased by the contact until he felt the amount of pressure Gaara was applying. Even with nearly two month of being immobile, Lee was extremely strong and so for the grip Gaara had on his hand to hurt, the Kazekage had to be pushing extra chakra into his fingertips. He was squeezing Lee’s hand so tightly there was no way it wouldn’t bruise.

“Why won’t you wake up?” he hissed, “I’m tired of this feeling.”

Sand clawed its way up Lee’s wrist. Not the protective carass he’d become accustomed to, but a scratching friction that wore away at the tender flesh of his inner arm.

“Lee,” his voice was the commanding growl of the One Tail, “Wake up NOW.”

The power in the air crackled and sizzled and chapped Lee’s lips as Gaara bore down harder on his hand. The Leaf nin felt the all too familiar pressure of his fingers cracking and breaking as hot air blasted his face relentlessly. After weeks of barely restrained composure, Gaara had lost his patience and was trying to drag Lee from unconsciousness using pain, but it wasn’t working. And it was making him furious.

Lee wished he could give Gaara what he so desperately wanted, but all he could do was lay there as the redheaded ninja fisted hands into his hospital gown and dragged him into a sitting position. The machines beeped as sensors and needles were knocked loose and Lee wondered where exactly his medical team was as Gaara put them face to face, his petite nose brushing against Lee’s more prominent one.

“What _is_ this?” he demanded, sounding more lost than Lee had heard him in years. “What are you _doing_ to me? Stop it! It hurts!”

‘I’m trying,’ Lee bemoaned silently. ‘I’m trying.’

Suddenly there was a pressure against his mouth. A dry press that felt rough like sandpaper and honestly cut into the thin skin of his lips. With his eyes closed Lee could only guess what Gaara was shoving into his face until suddenly a breath tickled his upper lip and he realized...Gaara was kissing him. It was harsh and forceful and not at all reciprocated because it couldn’t be, but it was a kiss.

At nearly the exact moment Lee realized he was experiencing his first kiss, Gaara threw him back down onto the bed. His body flopped about, completely devoid of pride or sense, and it only seemed to anger Gaara further. Lee listened as his sand laid waste to everything in the room that was not crucial to keeping Lee alive and then he was gone. In a flare of dust and chakra Gaara left Lee all alone, fingers broken and lips bloodied.

The taijutsu specialist wanted to die in that moment; wished Gaara had thrown him just a little harder off the bed to crack his head against the floor. Chest heaving, he let himself slip into unconsciousness, broken fingers twitching with the familiar pain.

* * *

The medical team cleaned up the room without comment that same afternoon. Ameno, who was the first to rush to check on Lee after finding the room in disarray, healed his broken fingers with Mystical Palm technique and didn’t alert anyone to that particular injury. He wished he could have told her to not smooth her thumb over his lips, erasing the proof of his first, violent kiss. As soon as the blood and bruising was gone it was like Gaara was never there.

Kankuro visited the next day and Lee could tell just from the irritated way his scrolls tapped the floor that he’d been made aware of his brother's tantrum. He spoke lowly to Lee about goings on in Suna, even indulging him with some personal stories of him and Temari growing up, but eventually he steered the conversation back towards his little brother. In a tone that left little room for argument, he informed Lee that he liked him well enough, but that he loved Gaara. He explained how he was worried about how his brother was handling all this since he had never lost someone close to him before let alone been especially close to anyone to begin with. He apologized for Gaara trashing the room and possibly scaring Lee, but he also ordered that the Leaf nin wake up as soon as possible for his brother’s sake.

As Kankuro spoke, Lee tried to listen closely, but his attention was gradually drawn to an uncomfortable sensation growing in his chest. Of course, he was used to the odd ache and pain, now more than ever, but by the time Kankuro is relaying his hope for Lee to wake up soon, he couldn’t follow the thread of the conversation any more. The feeling had intensified, like a web of electric currents spinning all over and through him. From the top of his head to the balls of his feet, Lee felt it getting worse and worse, like a vise being tightened around his ribcage. Even breathing unassisted felt impossible after a minute and Lee realized something was very, very wrong.

An alarm sounded somewhere above him and was followed by a second and a third until it was as though the whole room was on high alert. Kankuro had risen from his chair at the first one, the thing clattering to the ground in his haste. Once the others began going off, he was at the doorway, screaming down the hall in a tone not unlike his brothers. “SOMEONE GET IN HERE NOW!”

Lee’s pain turned the words into nothing but white noise as his medical team came rushing in, Ameno at the head. She was shouting orders in a rough tone Lee had never heard her use and then there were hands all over him as Kankuro’s voice kicked up under all the chaos, asking what the hell was going on.

“Please clear the room, Kankuro-san,” Ameno barked, swabbing something cool and wet over Lee’s arm. Even in his hazy state, Lee knew to expect the sharp sting of a needle and was surprised when it didn’t come. “What…?”

“Ameno-sama! We can’t get a pulse!”

What?

“The sand is blocking us. Someone get the Kazekage.” Ameno’s voice was cool yet urgent. “We’re losing him.”

_ What?! _

“I’ll get my brother, keep working on Lee!”

Kankuro was gone after that and Lee wished he had stayed. Wished a friendly face beside Ameno could have been there with him in that moment. If he was going to die he didn’t want to do it alone, so far from his village and teacher, with no friends in the room. What if Gaara didn’t come?

“Stay with us, Lee-san,” a new voice said, a young medi-nin who had taken to running a cool cloth over Lee’s forehead since the sand would not allow them to approach with needles or scalpels. “Lord Fifth is on his way.”

Gaara.

Lee did not want to die, but he especially did not want to die having never told Gaara how he felt. The Sand nin, by his own action, may never have another person get close enough to fall in love with him. Lee wanted to be the one Gaara learned to love from, learned to kiss from. He was not done with the redhead yet. The pain blooming from his chest seemed to grow worse at the realization he would die never having told Gaara none of this was his fault. That Lee would die a hundred times over to protect his Kazekage.

Darkness was pushing in on him again like immediately after the explosion and honestly Lee welcomed it. Anything to escape the pain. He would die with regrets and without having gotten a chance to see Gaara one last time, but at least the pain would end. A hot wind whaled through the room and a chakra signature that could have crushed the building unfurled over all of them. Lee knew it could only be Gaara and felt the uncharacteristic urge to curse that he could not open his eyes and see him.

“LEE!”

Damnit.

* * *

Had Lee ever made it back to Konoha and his friends had asked what his favorite memory of Sand was, he would have answered Gaara without hesitation. His favorite memory of Gaara? That one was a little trickier. How would he be able to narrow down to one out of all the precious moments he kept tucked close to his heart? How could he pick one sparring match, one walk, one conversation, one argument, one moment out of the several he cherished so secretly? Moments like Gaara’s first attempt at a friendly smile in Lee’s direction. Gaara standing immovable by Lee’s side as he told a group of would-be dissenters to respect the ninja’s authority. Gaara brushing a drip of water off Lee's lip only to then stick that thumb directly into his mouth to avoid water waste. Gaara not brushing Lee’s hand off his shoulder and even returning the gesture. Even among those few memories, it was difficult to pick favorites.

Lee would try, honestly, to pick a favorite if he was ever asked to, but he would truly believe it wasn’t fair to Gaara. Because Gaara made every moment Lee spent with him one of the happiest in his life. Lee did not know if he could ever give that feeling up for the world and even if Gaara never returned his feelings, he had been thinking of ways to request staying in Sunakugara. Permanently. And if he had the chance to live every moment over even knowing it would end like this he would still agree to. Still tell Tsunade-sama that he would be honored to travel to Sand. Still inform Gaara-san on the first day he was determined for them to be friends. 

Because Gaara meant everything to him and he did not want to live without him. 

* * *

The next time Lee woke, he was greeted by an intense grogginess not unlike he would experience the few times he’d been drunk. His chest still hurt, but it also felt like it had been filled with cotton stuffing. He felt full. There was a hand holding his but he couldn’t clear his head enough to figure out who it belonged to. Garra held his hand, but so did Gai Sensei. Maybe his teacher was visiting. If only he could stay awake long enough to hear him. He struggled against the darkness until the words being spoken became more clear.

“…the rules, Kazekage-sama,” said a voice that Lee recognized as the medi-nin who had cooled his head.

“Why?” Gaara demanded, sounding like he had already been holding back his temper for an admirable amount of time already. “Why do you need to be alone with Lee to do your check-ups?” 

“Ameno-sama’s orders, sir,” the young ninja strained, sounding rightfully frightened. “He needs his rest. I have to ask you to leave.”

“I will not.”

There was a sigh, then, “Kazekage-sama, I will call Kankuro-san to come for you.”

Silence from Gaara, then, “What is your name?”

“Yome, Kazekage-sama.” 

Lee quirked a brow in surprise. He knew Yome and knew she was still fairly young. He figured she had to be under Ameno’s tutelage much like Sakura had been with Tsunade.

“Right...I am...sorry about this, Yome.”

Lee wished he could have expressed his surprise at Gaara’s statement. An apology from Gaara of the Sand was as rare as it was a sign he had don,e or would do something, quite terrible. Lee’s assessment proved correct as he heard the sound of skin hitting skin and then the tell-tale grunt of Gaara catching something burdensome in his arms. The jinchuriki had knocked the young nurse out and then presumably caught her limp body before it hit the ground. Lee could have just died.

After some shuffling about and scratching of chair legs, the bed dipped under Gaara’s weight. Lee had to hope Yome was lain somewhere somewhat comfortable as the Kazekage laid down along his side. As appalled as he was at his friend, the older shinobi could not help but feel the anger ease off him as Gaara’s warmth invaded his bones. He supposed he could just talk to him about it when he woke up fully.

“I think...I’m mad at you.” Lee jerked himself back from the edge of unconsciousness and tried to focus on Gaara’s unusual declaration. Mad? “You almost died _again_.”

Ah. Lee had almost written the episode off as a horribly realistic nightmare, but he supposed Gaara would not soon let him forget how he had nearly shuffled off the mortal coil. He sympathized with his precious, he really did, but it wasn’t his fault his heart had very nearly given out.

“Were you...giving up? Do you not...want this?”

After weeks of immobility, Lee had grown quite used to not answering Gaara’s questions even though he still wanted to with every fiber of his being. What was the point of screaming into the void that he did want Gaara and he didn’t want to give up if no one ever heard him? Gaara should be angry with him; he was being weak and not getting back to his beloved quick enough. His ninja way was flickering in front of him, not even the weight of Gaara pressed against him able to pull him back to the light. 

Even when he felt a pair of still incredibly dry lips press to his again, gentler this time, nothing happened. The sand shinobi had an arm thrown awkwardly over his chest, thin hand gripping almost painfully on his diminished bicep. All his bandages were gone now. When Gaara pulled away his voice was wet, but Lee’s face remained dry.

“It’s not supposed to be this way,” he croaked, holding Lee there, his grip tightening briefly as he spoke. “I know you can hear me; stop pretending!”

Lee felt horribly for Gaara; had _been_ feeling horribly for Gaara. For as mature and stoic as the Kazekage was, he was still underdeveloped in the ways of the heart. He clearly cared deeply for Lee, as a friend or otherwise, and didn’t know what to do with the suffocating feeling of loss. The hurt confused him and confusion made him angry. He had grown up being able to easily spot and attack threats, but now pain -which he was already so unfamiliar with- was blooming from deep inside his chest and he did not know how to attack a feeling.

“Lee.” He wasn’t crying, Lee was positive, but his voice was small and broken and so unlike his beloved that suddenly Lee wanted him to leave the room and come back when he was Gaara again. “I think I miss you.”

* * *

Ryōkan and Sekka were the first to come in at change of shift and discover Yome. They were understandably horrified and confused -by that point Gaara was long gone- but Ameno came and calmed the situation. With a clipped tone she relayed her spot-on hypothesis of what had happened and ordered the other two shinobi to inform Kankuro immediately that his brother was to be escorted on visits from that point on. Lee laid there as silently as ever and blanched at how angry his doctor sounded.

Gaara showed no remorse upon following visits and merely ignored the way Kankuro would moan and complain in the corner of the room over having such an impulsive and short sighted little brother to look after. Kankuro created quite a scene the first time he witnessed Gaara plant a chaste kiss on his friend's frozen lips. Lee chuckled internally at their sibling relationship and wished for maybe the millionth time in his life that he had a Kankuro or Temari of his very own to fuss over him.

A week later, Gaara had a mission. He told Lee before he left, held his hand, kissed his mouth, and promised to bring another book on Suna folklore when he returned. Lee payed extra close attention to Ameno’s greetings everyday after that so he could have an idea of how long Gaara had been gone and when he would come back. The sand kept him company. When the younger man did return, Kankuro in tow, he came to Lee, sweat still musky on his form. He held his hand, and kissed his mouth, and read his book, and Lee listened. 

* * *

“Oiwa was married to a rōnin, but he wanted to marry a rich local’s daughter who had fallen in love with him. So in order to end their marriage, Oiwa was sent a poisoned medicine.” Gaara’s reading voice was rich and deep and Lee followed the story with a lazy sort of contentment, eyes droopy. “Though the poison failed to kill her, she became horribly disfigured, causing her hair to fall out and her left eye to droop. Upon learning of her husband’s betrayal, she killed herself on a sword.”

The redhead paused in his reading as he had several times before, and Lee knew he was processing the story which he likely hadn’t heard since childhood. He had had the same contemplative moments while reading the previous story of Uji no hashihime as she went through her several trials to become an oni and have her revenge. Gaara didn’t seem to grasp too completely that these were merely stories meant to entertain and sometimes teach. Lee loved him all the more for it.

“Seems overly dramatic,” the jinchuriki grumbled before continuing. “Her ghostly, deformed face appeared everywhere to haunt her husband. It even appeared in place of his new bride’s face, which caused him to accidentally behead her. Oiwa’s spirit followed him relentlessly to the point where he welcomed death...I’m not sure why people like these stories, I’m scarier than all of them.”

Lee frowned, because Gaara was most definitely not scary anymore, and then he paused...he was frowning. As in the corner of his lips had slouched down on his face.

He blinked in surprise. He could blink! His eyes were open!

He looked at Gaara at the exact moment Gaara looked at him and they were locked in each other’s gaze for the first time in two months. The book slipped from Gaara’s pale fingers and shut on the floor. Suddenly the Kazekage was on him.

“Gaara-”

“You’re awake.”

The kiss was not their first, truly, but it was the first Lee could reciprocate and he did so as much as his muscles would allow. It wasn’t much, he could hardly lift his arms to loop around the smaller man’s back, but it was enough. He kept his eyes open though, afraid to close them again, and just gazed at Gaara’s dark lids and the wave of his hair and the way sunlight shone through the thin skin of his ear and just Gaara. The kiss was broken into several smaller ones towards the end as Lee used his weak limbs to pull his Kazekage back to him again and again until Gaara got off the bed.

“I should get Ameno.”

“Don’t leave me.”

Gaara’s eyes narrowed, but not in the threatening manner of his younger years. He looked as if he wanted to rip Lee’s skin from his body in the most sensual way possible and Lee felt a heat rush through his entire body and leave him dizzy as Gaara touched his own forehead lightly.

“I will return.”

Lee flopped back onto the bed, regretting it a bit as his ribs yelped in protest. He was panting, his heart was racing, and he was awake! He reached up and cupped his face to collect himself and noticed for the first time ever that there was a very thin tube taped to the side of his face and sliding up his nose. With a frown, he followed the track of the feeding tube to its machine and noticed the figure standing in the corner with a manly squeal. 

“Kankuro-chan?!”

“Uh...hey...good to see you awake.”

Lee could have just died.

* * *

Lee woke with a sigh and nuzzled his face further into his pillow before blinking his eyes open. Gaara was seated next to him in the hospital bed, a book open over his crossed legs. Lee hummed contently before reaching over his own body and gently yanking out the IV in his opposite arm. Wetness spread along his hip and side and he tossed the needle off the bedside. They still had him on fluids for the next few days, but he didn’t like the way they made his belly bulge uncomfortably.

“You shouldn’t do that.” Gaara did not look up from his book. Lee gave a weak Good Guy pose, or as best as he could laying down.

“Rest assured, Kazekage-sama, I will not need fluids much longer! I am merely getting my body used to their withdrawal!”

Gaara’s gaze flicked over the shinobi’s black head of hair. It was not fully regrown yet, sticking up in spiky angles not unlike when Lee was a child, too short to be slicked down into his regular bowl cut. The jinchuriki sent a tendril of sand to caress the locks. They were alone.

“You do not have to call me Kazekage-sama anymore.”

“You did not need to stay by my bedside and read to me daily,” Lee tried to retort casually, but he could feel his face was red with blood as he stared doggedly into the book on Gaara’s lap.

“You heard me.” It wasn’t a question, but Lee still shifted himself up a bit to answer it. He wanted to look into Gaara’s eyes.

“Always; from the first day until the last.”

Gaara received this information with no hint of embarrassment, or irritation that Lee had not given him a sign, merely gazed back at his friend blankly. Then he shut the book with a snap, tossed it to the side, and hefted Lee up further from beneath his armpits. It was humiliating for the Leaf nin.

“And?” he prompted once they were properly sitting face to face, most of Lee’s weight leant against his side. Lee recalled all the days he had laid in frustration, swearing to any deity that would listen, that if he only got a chance he would tell Gaara the deepest secrets of his heart, or else be faced with an immeasurable list of physical challenges even _he_ doubted he could complete in one lifetime. With this in mind, Lee steeled himself.   
  


“Gaara-kun, you are my most precious person. The one for whom I would lay down my life and my kunai to protect. I came to Sunagakure on an assignment from my Hokage, but I am prepared to stay permanently if only I can be by your side always; from the first day until the last. Gaara-kun...I love you.”

The room was silent for a short moment that spanned an eternity for Lee and for a cruel instance he wondered if he had somehow misread the signals. If Gaara was merely doting on him, protecting him, and kissing him as a friend. It sounded ridiculous even in his mind, but he entertained the thought for an entire breath before Gaara’s cool hand found his cheek. At some point his eyes had fallen shut and they fluttered open again at the feeling of the digits on his face. He had been barred from doing that for so long that Lee knew that for the rest of their lives, no matter how deep the sleep or severe the injury, he would always wake if Gaara beckoned him in that way.

“I’m not sure what love is,” Gaara explained, not sweetening the fact at all, “But...I would be willing to learn...if you put your IV back in.”

Lee hurried to jam the needle back into his arm, beaming back at his Kazekage as he merely settled back into his book, not commenting or moving in the slightest as Lee nuzzled further into his side.

And that was that. Gaara read and Lee listened and the sand encased them both in a coarse but loving embrace. 

**Author's Note:**

> This...took me way longer to finish than I expected....DAYS!  
> I've never done a particularly long one-shot like this, but it pushed me to finish it more because I couldn't just update in pieces and then forget about it.  
> My boyfriend only just got me into Naruto recently and I am obsessed with these two.  
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
